Back to Center

Do you ever think you're happy only to realize at some point not too long after that you're not? Not as in not happy with life in general, but not happy with who you've been becoming?

I thought my relationship with God was good, where it needed to be, where I wanted it to be. And then came the past few months and you know what I've realized? I have been so concerned with going through the motions, keeping busy, working hard, saving money that I'd been missing what was needed most - a deep, fervent, vibrant relationship with God. A relationship where I trust him with my very life. Sure, if you would have asked me if I trusted God before, I would have said absolutely. But I wasn't trusting him with every single detail of my life. I was still very much holding on to many a thing and in true independent fashion, I was relying on my own strength for way to many things for way too long.

And so a thought came to me today - God is using this experience to bring me back to the center of where I need and want to be. I pause here because right after the "back to center" phrase came to mind, so did a little old school 4 Him ... we need to get back to the basics of life, a heart that is true and a love that is blind, a faith that is fervently grounded in Christ, the hope that endures for all times ... anyone else hearing it? Anyone? Nope? Alrighty then!

Onto the point ... I say need because I am nothing without him and I say want because I recognize that I am nothing without him - and that's what prompts the want, for me anyway. I like it when the need and the want come together and the desire to know God becomes about the need being met and the want being fulfilled at the same time. So many times I've known I needed him, but haven't wanted him. And I've wanted to know him more, but for some reason thought I didn't need him. Both of those scenarios have led me in the past to seek God in a shallow way. Sure, there have been times when the two have come together, but the past couple of years haven't been that way. It's been one or the other and rarely the twain have met :) What, did I just use the word twain? Is that even correct? If it's not, just give the bedrested girl a break.

I've been listening to Louie Giglio a lot lately (great way to pass some time and be challenged), but the last five minutes of one of his messages entitled Living for the Glory of His Name has been wearing out the ipod. He's talking about Jesus and reminds us of who he is as you move throughout scripture - so many times I'm guilty of forgetting. This reminds me of my need and fuels my want.

In Genesis, Jesus is the ram at Abraham's altar.
In Exodus, Jesus is the Passover Lamb.
In Leviticus, he's the High Priest.
In Numbers, Jesus, is the cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night.
In Deuteronomy, Jesus is the city of our refuge.
In Joshua, he is the scarlet thread out Rahab's window.
In 1 & 2 Judges, he is our Judge.
In Ruth, he is our Kinsman Redeemer.
In 1 & 2 Samuel, he is our Prophet.
In the Kings and Chronicles, he's our Reigning King.
In Ezra, he's the faithful scribe.
In Nehemiah, he is the rebuilder of everything that is broken.
In Esther, he's the Mortecai sitting faithful by the gate.
In Job, he is my Redeember, who ever lives.
In Psalms, the Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.
In Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, he's our Wisdom.
In Song of Solomon, he is the beautiful bridegroom.
In Isaiah, he's the suffering servant.
In Jeremiah and Lamentations, he's the weeping prophet.
In Ezekiel, he's the wonderful four-faced man.
In Daniel, Jesus is the fourth man in the midst of the fiery furnace.
In Hosea, he's my love, who's forever faithful.
In Joel, he baptizes us with the Holy Spirit.
In Amos, he's our burden bearer.
In Obadiah, he's our Savior.
In Jonah, he is the great foreign missionary that takes the word of God into the whole world.
In Micah, he's the messenger with the beautiful feet.
In Nahum, he's the avenger.
In Habakkuk, he's the watchman on the walls who's ever praying for revival.
In Zephaniah, he's the Lord, mighty to save.
In Haggai, he's the restorer of our lost heritage.
In Zechariah, he's our fountain.
In Malachi, he's the Son of Righteousness with healing in his wings.
In Matthew, thou are the Christ, the Son of the Living God.
In Mark, he's the miracle worker.
In Luke, he's the son of man.
In John, he's the door by which every one of us must enter.
In Acts, he is the shining light that appears to Saul on the road to Damascus.
In Romans, he's our Justifier.
In 1 Corinthians, our Resurrection.
In 2 Corinthians, our sin bearer.
In Galatians, he redeems us from the law.
In Ephesians, he's our unsearchable riches.
In Philippians, he supplies our every need.
In Colossians, he's the fullness of the Godhead bodily.
In 1 & 2 Thessalonians, he's our soon and coming King.
In 1 & 2 Timothy, he's the mediator between God and man.
In Titus, he's the blessed Hope.
In Philemon, he is the Friend that sticks closer than a brother.
In Hebrews, he is the blood of the everlasting covenant.
In James, it's the Lord who heals the sick.
In 1 & 2 Peter, he's our Shepherd.
In 1, 2 & 3 John, it's the Lord who has the tenderness of love.
In Jude, he is the Lord coming with ten thousand saints.
In Revelation, lift up your eyes church, for your Redemption draws nigh. He's the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.